Free jar to my man Stevey B who’s known since at least 2007 that baggies are for shwag. Remember 2007? Back in the day when we were thugs? When we were bringing SexyBack? Those were the days. Good times.

420 Science takes pride in the fact that we get our orders out fast. If you placed an order with us before 10 am and don’t have it by 10:01 you only have the postal service to blame for not having already switched to teleportation as their main form of transport.

Still, some customers need their order quicker than quick. Which I always find to be curious. Why the need for next day shipping? Did the customer just score a bag of dank and realize they were about to store their beautiful flower in a crappy sandwich bag? Are they throwing a house party and want to impress their friends with their high quality tastes? Is it a last second birthday gift? Well, for whatever reason Joe from NYC placed an order with us today and he wants his jars asap.

So Joe your 420 Jars are safely on their way. After the cross country flight they will be rushed through Manhattan traffic, past your doorman and brought to your step, which is when you will rip the box apart like a Tasmanian devil and will be elated to find not only the 6 jars you ordered, but 7! A free jar! For you!

Now when your other “delivery guy” comes by, ask him why he hasn’t given you a free gift lately.

I’m not sure which is more difficult. Picking out an order to give a free jar to or deciding which jar to give.  Today was a rough one as there were many worthy candidates.

I noticed I haven’t rewarded any of our female customers for their coolness yet and after a quick confirmation with wiki I’m confident that girls are people too. This narrows my options down a bit.  I have a few female names here but Kathy from Kansas stands out for having a nice consonance.

Wait. Do two K’s equal consonance? I’m not sure….

Kathy from Kansas gets a cannabis jar.  That should be enough. Or is that an alliteration? No, I’m calling it consonance.

I’m not an ass. Oh, you said assonance… Maybe. Lets fight about it.

Life isn’t easy for those afflicted with apostrophe. Its a serious condition that is little understood by those not directly under its influence, aka people with non-Irish names. Common symptoms include:

+ Long waits at the DMV counter

+ The inability for any agency of any stripe find you in “their system”

+ The inability to enter your name correctly into any sort of LCD display

+ Confusion while entering your name into a grid.  (Does the ‘ get its own square? No? Do you have any white out?)

It is because of my own personal battle with the apostrophe that I decided today to finally fight back.  If I have the ability to make the apostrophe something that betters a person’s life instead of hinders it then dammit I’ll do it, even if it is only for one glorious, shining moment.

Today’s free 420 Jar is set aside for S. O’Brien. Hang in there big guy. You are not alone.

You’ll never be able to convince me that an open bar and doing the chicken dance with my aunt makes a good time, yet every family wedding I go to seems to end up that way. I’m already awkward enough, but throw in a couple of free drinks and a rented wooden dance floor to see things really start to get weird.

This is apparently not so for today’s free jar winner Steven, who bought 6 jars to give as gifts for the groomsman at his upcoming wedding. I think the last groomsman gift I got was a Soulja Boy inspired grill, so Steven’s wedding is already above any watermark I’ve seen. For his good taste I’ve thrown in an extra jar. Maybe the father of the bride would like it?

Today’s free 420 Jar goes to Michael in MA for understanding you’re only as good as the company you keep. Michael is clearly in good company. When asked where he’s heard of us he begins :

Fellow connoisseurs and the good old search engine of Google…

Michael and his friends understand there are finer things in life and they must seek them out.

You’re on the right track friend. He finishes:

flying right now.. stay high.. yea mon

You betchya buddy, you betchya.

It was within the last decade or so that myself and you readers were given the opportunity to create an online identity. From simple screen names to level 20 battle wizards, we’ve had presented to us an option that no other generation has, which is the ability to create a unique identity that is completely of our own choosing.

For today’s free 420 Jar winner I decided to use this self-made window into the soul as my guide. Within today’s orders there was one customer who immediately jumped out as someone who clearly is in touch with his inner-self and the image he chooses to project to the world.

So congratulations, “oneflyazzman”.  Here’s oneflyazzjar for you.

Today’s free 420 Jar goes to Kenji.  Let’s analyze the comment he left with his order to find out why.

Heard about you from Weeds! Always liked your jars. Definitely excited to get mine! I’m going to show it off to my friends

He starts out by mentioning that he heard about us from the TV show Weeds. This strokes my ego and is worth 1 point.

He states that he is very excited to get his jar and will show it off to friends. That’s just sweet, he likes us so much he’s already introducing us to his friends. Maybe next his parents?

Finally, his name is Kenji.

All of this adds up to a free xs medical leaf. Now go show your friends who loves you.

I’ve lived in and traveled through many parts of this country and it’s with that expertise that I can confidentially declare Tucson to be one weird place. It’s not the heat, the people, the proximity to Mexico or the strange mix of giant saguaros and palm trees that sets the city out. It’s all of that with a dust storm thrown into your face that gives the city its feel. Tucson is a hard enough place just for us people to keep it fresh, so imagine how your buds feel.

Today I make it a little bit easier. Free jar to “J” in Tucson.

I get to give away a free 420 Jar every day. I just pick an order and decide which 420 Jar I want to give away. Today’s free 420 Jar went to a Marine named Gary. He wrote this comment on his order:

I read about you guys in the High Times Medical Marijuana issue. Can’t wait to get that 420 Scope! I read the story how you guys got started and thought it was cool. My name is Gary and my boy that I met when i was in the Marines name is Matt, and every day in Iraq we would come up with just crazy ideas on how to market products or inventions. It really is an inspiration on how you can succeed with just an idea and pure dedication. Keep up the good work, saving up for that usb scope and to go to oaksterdam! From Marine to Growing Green, you have a good one!

Well Gary, we appreciate your service to our country and admire your enthusiasm for marijuana. Enjoy your free Got Smoke 420 Jar.